Dating Question: My boyfriend and I have been exclusive for six months. He just moved 2000 miles away for grad school. We can only see each other on Skype until he comes home for winter break. He says he loves me and that everything’s good. He looks like he means it, and I want to believe him.
But he also says he eats dinner every night with friends, mostly female. This scares me, but I haven’t told him I’m afraid to lose him. I know I should stay positive. Then I wonder if I should I break up with him before he breaks up with me. Or should I trust my boyfriend’s long distance loyalty?
Dating Answer: It’s a challenge to stay emotionally connected and faithful in a long-distance relationship, yet it can be done. There are no “shoulds” in how it’s done, only choices. Let’s explore your best choices.
What you see will be. Instead of imagining him dating and breaking up with you, it’s smart to stay positive and build a solid foundation of fun and positive experiences. This builds attraction and makes him feel more positive feelings for you.
How do you handle your fears that arise?
See your fears as clouds passing through the blue sky and let them pass by. Instead of venting fears or heavy emotions that make your partner want to run, you can choose to express emotions that benefit you and your relationship.
You can flip your thought switch away from fear and focus on the positive qualities that you love about your partner. Your fears lose power when you focus on love and express appreciation. This also frees your partner to open their heart and get closer to you emotionally.
What if your gut feelings warn you of red flags?
Trust your inner truth detector. If you start noticing a big change in behavior, like being unavailable or acting nervous during your skype chats, then it’s smart to ask if he’s losing interest. Watch his response and remember that consistent action carries more weight than words.
As long as you continue to see that his loving words are aligned with loving actions, you’re smart to stay positive and trust your boyfriend’s long-distance loyalty.
Love deeply and live your dreams now,