Has a family member or friend ever asked you for advice about love or relationship issues? Or have they asked you to listen to their love issues so they can vent, without requesting your advice? It’s important to know the difference so you can give the best response.
How do you figure out the difference? Use these 5 skills each time someone presents you with their love issues, or any issue at work or in life:
1. Be present totally in the moment, through active listening to the person seeking advice. Turn off pagers and cell phone. Focus fully on the person speaking. Look them in the eyes. Nod to let them know you are paying attention.
2. Acknowledge and affirm their feelings without breaking their emotional state or trying to solve their problem for them. You might say, “It sounds like you’re feeling __________.” Or “I understand why you feel ________.” Wait for their response as a sign that you are interpreting their feelings correctly.
3. Ask questions that help them figure out their own situation better. Do not ask questions that help you understand the situation. Your goal is to engage them with questions that draw out more emotions to help them clarify their own feelings and point of view.
4. Offer them the number one thing they want from you. They want perspective, not answers. They want to know their options and choices to consider that will help them find the best answer for them.
You might share your own experience with the same issue and the outcome that worked for you. You might tell them that based on my experience if you do this, then this might happen. Or if you do this, then that may happen. Offer them choices to help them figure it out for themselves. You can think of yourself as the Love Google where they go for perspective and information that they can use to make the best choices.
5. If they ask you to tell them what to do, only then will you tell them.
You can say, “From my experience, I would do _________ now.” Or “In my opinion, _____________ is what I would do next.”
Speak with level of confidence that instills confidence in themselves. This is especially important if they feel lost or uncertain. When you give them a strong directive like, “Do this now,” your certainty gives them confidence to take the best steps to solve their love or relationship issues.
My colleague, author-speaker-business expert Brendon Buchard, recommends that you also use these five skills for giving advice whenever you are asked to consider a person’s issues and give advice in business or in any aspect of life.
And I’d like to give you all the relationship success tools you need to bulletproof a relationship or recruit your perfect match if you’re single, and build better relationships with everyone in your life when you begin your exciting program at http://GreaterSuccessAndLove.com
Love deeply and live your dreams now,