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Path #2 to Infidelity – What Do Men and Women Think Before They Decide to Have an Affair?

A report in Men’s Health Magazine is a must read for every man and women who wants to affair-proof your relationship. Find out the different decision-making processes that men and women use to pursue or reject an affair as you read my summary of this Men’s Health report:

Path #2 To Infidelity: You’re not risk-averse enough to resist an affair

Men and women use drastically different decision making processes in pursuing or rejecting an affair. A business model that identifies some of the factors that influence a person’s decision to cheat was developed by two economist-Ph.D.s–Edinaldo Tebaldi of Bryant University and Bruce Elmslie of University of New Hampshire.

Here are some of these decision-making factors:

For many men, cheating is simply another decision with its own set of costs and benefits. Infidelity has uncertain and individual outcomes. You don’t know how guilty you’ll feel afterward, whether or not your mate will catch you, or exactly what you may lose in a divorce or break up.

What is he thinking?

Not much more than, Is there an opportunity? And, Will I get caught?

What is she thinking?

About her relationship, her future, and the investment she might lose if she got caught.

When the possibility of cheating presents itself, women think of consequences:
Is her mate worth keeping?
Or is this new partner worth the risk of leaving?
Just how much money-love-companionship-security will I lose if I get caught?

How can men and women make an informed decision to cheat or not to cheat?

The remedy:

In his self-help book, The Truth About Cheating, marriage therapist and author, M. Gary Neuman, interviewed 100 cheating men, identified their reasons for straying, and suggested ways they could improve their decision making process to support sexual loyalty and happiness in a relationship.

Neuman recommends that men figure out what you would be losing now and in the future before you decide to pursue an affair.

Once you realize the risks, Neuman suggests than men spend more time at home, since over half the men he interviewed had spent much time away from home before they cheated. These men started working later, taking more business trips, or spending more time away with friends.

Neuman suggests a novel, honorable remedy to a roving eye — which can be used by men or women:

Face your mate and tell them something is wrong. Say you are looking around and you know you shouldn’t be. Then figure out together how you can improve your relationship.

M. Gary Neuman concludes that once you know what’s wrong and how you will fix it, thoughts of saving your relationship will replace your thoughts of cheating.

Will you use this remedy to spark passion and commitment in your relationship?

Now if you’re single and seeking a happy relationship, I invite you to enjoy a free month membership in the Singles Club of Tribe of Blondes. Not a hair color, it’s a resilient optimism that unites us and fuels our passionate choices and personal triumphs.

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Dedicated to your dating and relationship happiness,

Hadley Finch

About Hadley Finch

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